Rory’s been sleeping in the parental bed for a few weeks now and each morning before dawn he bolts upright with some sort of demand. This morning it was, “I want a fruit twist!” I shoved him back on the pillow to keep him from running into the kitchen and he was sound asleep again within a minute.
I got up to get a jump on my day and write a blog post for our law firm. We’re Google front-page listed and you don’t get there without blogging, you know? I’m writing, I’m stuffing diapers, making lunches, putting on mascara. Then Emily wakes up and I wrestle her fat legs into some skinny jeans just as Rory bounds into the kitchen and yells, “I want a fruit twist!”
Rory gets a fruit twist, some gluten-free animal crackers, and warm goat milk; breakfast of champions. Emily empties the contents of yesterday’s lunch boxes onto the tile and stomps on all of the berries. Rory systematically colors the baby blue sofa with orange Magic Marker but I don’t even sweat it because we’ve got Mr. Clean Magic Eraser under the sink. Emily colors her front teeth green when I’m not looking so cleaning that off sets us back a little bit. The clock is ticking, we’re missing snack time at school and I’ve got to get to the office to meet my new assistant that I’ve hired for a few weeks to help me get back on track after missing so much work lately.
Then I get a Facebook notification that someone likes my blog post on Scary Mommy today. Oh, snap! I didn’t even know it was going up! My morning is now in overdrive because I have to tell everyone I know about this. At the 2-hour mark it’s been shared on Facebook 7,000 times. SEVEN THOUSAND TIMES!
We’re loading up for school and Rory squeals in delight at finding a stale Annie’s Gummy Bunny on the floorboard in front of his car seat. He says, “Mommy, LOOK! Look what I found!” as he stuffs it in his mouth. I glance up from buckling in his sister and consider being grossed out but instead cheer him on with “Lucky day!”
I’ve become that mom.